I was alone
Waiting in the airport
All night long.

Somehow the ambient noise,
Just seemed too quiet,
Too subdued.

I guess it was because nothing was directed at me,
No one was talking to me,
Or even looking at me.



It was cool that night,
Not cold,
Just cool.

I was tired and weary,
But I couldn’t sleep,
I could hardly relax.

All night long all I did was think,
Think about what I was doing there,
And why I always found myself thinking alone.

I guess there's just something about me,
I don’t know if it's fear of letting someone get close,
Or maybe I just put people off somehow.



There was nothing wrong with that night,
No problems,
No worries.

Nothing,
Except being alone,
Always alone.



10 pm,
11 pm,
midnight.

The hours felt the longest I’d ever known,
Though at the same time,
They were gone before I realized it.

I tried reading,
I tried eating something,
Nothing brought me peace.

1 am,
2 am,
3 in the morning.



I was headed home for thanksgiving,
But all that time by myself,
Made me feel like death.



I don’t remember exactly when I moved again,
When I got up and went to the counter,
To check in and go through security.

I was awake but unconscious the whole time,
My eyes were open,
But I saw nothing.



It was around 6 or so,
I don’t really remember,
That I boarded my plane.

Everything felt somber and subdued,
Like a dream,
But everything was too dull to be artificial.



We went through all the normal stuff,
Safety checks,
Taxi and takeoff.

By then I was too empty to even feel sad,
Or lonely,
Or cold.

Somehow I knew I should be happy,
But still I felt nothing,
Nothing at all.



We were rising swiftly,
Climbing higher and higher,
We were in the middle of the clouds.

The pressure made me want to sleep,
I wished so hard,
I could taste it.



Sleep didn’t come,
Nor did peace,
Nothing but emptiness was within me.



Gradually as we started to reach above the clouds,
It got lighter and lighter,
And reds and oranges appeared.

It was as though we were rising with the sun itself,
Out of the cold darkness,
And into the light.



Suddenly the red and the yellow was all around,
So bright and clear you could see it through each and every window,
No matter which way you looked.



In the distance I saw a shadow,
A silhouette of the volcano,
As it towered over the earth.

It jutted above the clouds like a king,
All around it the bright red and orange mixed,
As though in that moment it was spewing fire.

All you could see for miles around,
Was that fiery sky,
Framed by the jet black clouds and volcano.



I don’t really know how I could compare anything else,
Anything else at all,
To what I saw that morning.



Maybe it was all the color,
Or just a long night caught up with me,
But I started to doze off.

As I shut my eyes,
For that first time all night long,
I still felt empty.



But,
Somehow I thought that,
Maybe I wouldn’t always feel that way.

That somehow,
Sooner or later,
Things would change.



For that moment though,
All I did was shed a tear,
That I had no one to share with.

And then I was fast asleep.